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I am not crying as I am writing this but I feel very sad. I feel like inside a little ship in the middle of the ocean. It is as if all of a sudden everything is going wrong in Spain.

These days the king Juan Carlos is in South America. Each time I see him on TV I want to cry because I don’t see him as the right man for a wrong Spain but as the wrong man for a wrong Spain. But the situation in Spain is so bad that at the same time I feel a little sympathy for him. Not as a king but as a person. I just hope that he can end his life with not causing even more shame too his image. Some people in Spain have always loved or hated the monarchy. My feeling now about the monarchy is not of love or hate. When I think about the Spanish monarchy I just feel I want to cry. I feel very sad.

So, in this terrible moments for Spain not even the king is here to give us some peace of mind. The politicians and the king have acted so badly that now I think that the best for Spain is not to be a republic or a monarchy. With these kind of king and this king of politicians I think both things would be horrible.

I kn

ow the situation is terrible but on the news they cannot say so clearly because if they so then the situation may go worse. So, Spain is suffering without too much noise.

These days I rember all the people I have known from the world these last decades. I remember my German friends. I remember friends from other places of Europe and even the world. maybe they aslo remember. For some of them maybe the image they have of Spain was the one I gave them too.

I wonder what will happen inside Spain but this eurocrisis is going to affect a lot the usual frictions between the different parts of Spain. It is not nice to be part of a state that does not let you choose selfdetermination (as it happens in the UK with Scotland) and that makes you almost go default. But the situation is so difficult now that even this should be left to the days coming ahead.

I just hope that in this so difficult situation in Span people look around and into our past to see that we must have some hope. We are in a terrible situation in our current history but we are not in a civil war! We are not killing each other. Not is Hitler running Germany but Angela Merkel. Spanish soldiers are not killing its citizens as it happens in Syria. Some humility maybe good.

The fact that Spain is in such a tragedy and that I feel so sad does not mean that  this is not going to be a good moment to learn. I hope all people in Spain learn to be more responsible. We have been too individualistic.

We all learn at school about past wars. But it is only this difficult situation that makes me realise how much suffering there was in Spain in the civil war. If now I want to cry because of the current state of Spain I cannot imagine how awful had to be living in the 1936`s for the whole population. Then, after the war, these people tried to work so that future generations had a better live. And their children had a better life. Children born in the 1940 has a harsh time in a post war era but afterwards the things improve. But now it seems we are going backwards!

One solution to the Spanish problems would be to ask help to Germany but I can’t. I feel so ashamed. So much money given to us during decades as funds and now we have to ask for more money?

I am not responsible for all the wrong things that have happened in Spain. I was against high speed trains. I did not speculate buying a house to sell it at a bigger price.  But I have the feeling I did not enough to go against the wrongdoings. I think I did as most people in Spain who remain silent while we were surrounded by wrongdoers.

Well, I still have an internet connection and I can write this. Who knows maybe in the future I cannot even afford that.

For me the problem of Spain is not Bankia. The problem is that we have lost faith in our king, in our president, in our courts, in our banks and in ourselves. It may take years to restore all this lost confidence. The current Spanish is broken and it will take years to create a new mirror for Spain or for its remaining parts.



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